last day of may

I think... today will be... a post... about the past. My first online interactions. And so forth. I was thinking about that the other day.

My memories were triggered by Ke$ha.

LOL.

More specifically, this video:

Ke$ha - Blow


This video, should you choose not to watch it, features Ke$ha, James van der Beek, and unicorns.

It's James specifically that triggered the memory.

I've watched this video many a time before, but it was this one particular night that it actually triggered anything.

First off, I was a huge fan of Dawson's Creek. Like, huge. But Dawson himself? Ehhhhh.... was never too big a fan. I liked Pacey best. Of course, in this video? Maybe I'm losing it, but James van der Beek looks real hot here. Even with him shooting unicorns and removing a bra. lol.

Anyhoo, back to Dawson's Creek. It was a prominent show I was hooked on for a good while. I remember before we moved to our first house, (when we were still in apartments) I would be forced to watch the show on a tiny 13 inch black and white tv. One of those tvs that had dials instead of buttons, an antenna, and no remote. The reason was because we only had one other tv in the house, and I was the only one in the family who liked the show.

When we moved, we also found the need to upgrade our tvs. Our old 19inch "family" one moved upstairs in to the loft, where hardly anyone used it, and a bigger tv took its place downstairs. So now I was able to watch the show in color, and slightly bigger. Oh happy day.

Then we got a computer. And internet. One of those free, dial up services. I think it was called.... NetZero?

I fell in love with the internet right away. I was always on it - when no one else needed it. Despite the crappy dial up, the millions of popups, and the slow computer. And one day I was feeling adventurous, and decided to wander a chatroom. The first ones I went to were trivia chatrooms. That's where the admin asks questions and you get points for no reason when you're the first to answer correctly. It was fun, but no one was allowed to talk about anything outside of the answers to the questions, and a "good job"/"thank you" (gj/ty) after every correct answer.

I wanted to talk. I was feeling social. Sadly, my need to feel social could not be fixed by just wandering outside anymore. In our previous apartments, there was always a playground or a courtyard right in the backyard, so folks had no problem letting their kids play outside. Feeling social? Just wander outside, there will be someone.

Not so here. The subdivision boasted of its two playgrounds, (which, by the time the subdivision was finished over ten years later, was more like a dozen) but they were not "right in the backyard". For most of us, it was a couple of blocks away, and parents were not so keen on allowing their kids wander without parental supervision. And parents are often lazy and don't feel like sitting around doing nothing while their kids play and have fun on a playground. That wasn't always the case. It depended on how old the child/young the time of parenting was. If the kid was young, it was possible that so was the "being a parent", and so they had a better shot of getting their mom to take them out. The older the kid gets, the lazier the parent gets in their want to help their kid stay active. Which basically meant that the only kids at the playgrounds were 7 and younger. And I was... 12? That didn't work for me.

And so began my fall in to the anti-sociality of the real world. Here is where possible extroverts - whom (once upon a time) LOVED playing outside and being active and having friends - become introverts.

There were so many chatrooms out there. For all sorts of different interests. Naturally, I yahoo'ed (is that the proper term? I've always used Yahoo, because for me that came first) for a Dawson's Creek chatroom. And I found The Creek. A chatroom where folks talked about their favorite tv show.

I fell in love with the anonymity of the place. In fact, I think my username was "ananymous". (the proper spelling was already taken - a fact that had to be explained often to the jerkfaces who like to point out misspellings) I began to see "regulars" and became one myself. And the most fun I had in the chatroom was when there was dead space. When there were only a few people there, and no one was talking. I would then break in to my imagination, and play.

*takes out her pogo stick*
I'll hit the rafter this time! I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!!
*boing boing boing*
*reaches rafters*
SUCCESS!!!
*Sits atop the WORLD*

And it was fun to see folks saying "LOL" or better yet, participating...

*grabs her pogo stick, bounces up to join anan in the rafters*
YAY!
*pushes anan off rafters*
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
*pours mountain dew over anan, cementing her to the floor*
Nyah hahahaha!!!!
*grabs pogo stick and joins so and so in the rafters*
So not cool.
*uses the Force to uncement anan from the floor*
YAY!!!
*jumps in to creek*
*joins anan*
WHO'S UP FOR WATER VOLLEYBALL?!!?

(The pogo stick and the rafters actually became a normal occurrence in this room, as was the creek of course... can't have "The Creek" without a creek in it.)

That convo is pretty much how it went too, not dipping in to my imagination to make something up this time. I remember it so well and fondly because it was the first time I had a lot of fun in the chatroom. I mean, I enjoyed talking to folks, but I also have an overactive imagination, and this solved it all.

We spent many a day playing water volleyball and using pogo sticks to sit in the rafters. Some folks "brought" instruments and would play along to my rendition of MMMBop.

Mind you, not everyone liked the playing. We didn't force it on anyone, often times a conversation was held at the same time as our imaginings, and those of us who imagined also participated in the convo at hand. Though, when someone didn't like it and was a jerk about it... our imaginings often involved the jerk.

*spikes volleyball, hits jerkface in the head*
*watches as jerkface nearly drowns in the creek they didn't know they were standing in*
*reaches over to the boombox, hits play.*
*Baywatch music comes on*
*saves jerkface*
YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL!!

We could get violent. But we knew our boundaries. The only people we were violent towards were the people flaming us. And really, who needed that sort of negativity around anyhow? We were doing the chatroom a favor - driving them away like that.

My best friend back then, whom I've mentioned before in the 30 day song challenge, and whom I now refer to as "Sarah from Wisconsin", had visited me a few times during my chatroom days. And during that time we shared ananymous.

And then we found love.

His name was Shane. Shane Mc-something or other. (I'm pretty sure I knew the last name until I sat down to write this. lol. McCorgin? Meh.) He was Irish. He was 16, and he knew he was talking to two of us. (He went by Scorgie online... which is actually kinda weird, because years later I met another Irish dude online, who was 16 and had the last name "Scorgie". Ah hahahaaha.) We both said we were 16 as well of course. (Fairly certain we were 13 at the time.) It was a fun time.

I was careless with my identity back then. He had given me his address and I had given him mine. (nowadays, I only share my address with people I trust, and not just give it out willy nilly) He even sent me a ring. I'm pretty sure it was fake. And it was tiny. But it was my first internet gift. lol.

But then... then he disappeared. It was probably because he got tired of Sarah and my fight for his affection. Unless he chose Sarah. That's quite possible. And would explain why he disappeared... to me anyhow.

Anyhoo... I drifted away from The Creek. I began to get attached to the regulars, and saw, to my dismay, that regulars were becoming not. Plus, Shane was gone. And so I left. But I kept with me my memories of those chats.

I suppose those memories are what led me down the path of virtual worlds. Five years later, the summer I'd graduated high school, I was given permission to use my dad's work laptop when he wasn't using it. (It was fifty gazillion times better than our crap puter) And I had decided to look up virtual worlds. Sadly, the most of them required pay. I did try a couple that had free trials. Can't recall names of any of them. And then I found moove. A rather simple, yet complicated virtual world. And you could play (somewhat) free - if you had a subscription you could visit anyone's home, but if you didn't, you'd have to stay at your house and wait for others to visit you.

I met one dude rather quickly, and he was kind enough to help me out. I was having trouble working out things, and had accidentally managed to unclothe myself. He was kind enough to tell me how to get clothes BACK on, and we became friends. His name was Steven. I often wonder what happened to him.

Shortly after meeting him, I met another guy whom might have been having the same issues I had the first day - he showed up at my house unclothed. I'm still friends with him, (we talk on Skype now) and so he holds the record for "my longest internet friend".

And then I met... Louie. He was a Dom back then, (This is the sub/Dom culture I fell in to and mentioned back in April) and I hadn't a clue what that meant. But he was really nice and basically said he'd give his right arm to teach me to be a sub - if I'd like. And so I said sure! Why not? Now, mind you, when the noxy of today comes across something she doesn't know, she'll hit Yahoo that very second. Younger noxy? Not so much. And so I spent an entire night sitting cross-legged (I was supposed to kneel but didn't have the kneel pose yet) and learning rules, all while trying not to laugh. (I got yelled at for laughing. I LOL a lot.) Then Louie had to leave, and Steven logged on shortly after. (Louis was in Arizona, Steven was in England, and I was a night person, so they had different time frames and I happened to intersect them both.) I let Steven know of my adventures in to subs.... and he freaked out. Apparently, he caught on pretty quickly that I had no effing idea what was going on, and immediately explained that "sub" was short for "submissive" and that they were basically slaves, and um... well, I wasn't too fond of that idea. I had basically sold myself to slavery due to ignorance. ROFL.  Luckily, in the sub/Dom culture, it is easy to remedy that situation. While the Dom has a sub, He owns that sub and can do what He wants with them. But it is, in the end, the sub's choice to stay with Him. The sub can asked to be freed at any time, and the Dom must comply. 

So the next night, I apologized to my Dom, and asked for my freedom. He was disappointed I think, but he was still kind and stayed to talk to me, despite my assumption that he would leave as soon as he found out he lost me as a sub. We ended up becoming friends. And he even brought me with on his explorations of other sub/Doms. He began to introduce me as his "vanilla daughter". (vanilla = not a part of the culture) And I accepted that. It was nice to be "adopted" in to a family. Especially one as interesting as that. And I was treated kindly and with respect. He would even seek my approval for his subs, which I thought was interesting. And I became close friends with one in particular, whom he kept on and renamed "Mia". We got along well, my "dad", his Mia, and I. At Christmastime, they both sent me a Christmas card, each with twenty dollar gift cards in it! lol. Man, that rocked.

Sadly, our family didn't last long. Dad was getting interested in the world of Gor, which has a different set of rules than the sub/Dom culture. It's basically a lifestyle that's based on a set of 29 books by some person. I read the first one, though not with "dad's" permission. I got it from Mia, who was unsure of whether or not she was interested in becoming Gorean. In the end, she chose not to, and left our family. Was a sad day.

After that, dad took on a various number of slaves/mistresses. It varied often, he and I being the only stability in the family. The last family I recall had a slave, - her name I cannot remember - a vampiress, (Kaz) and a mistress - Purrl. Purrl was the end of the end. At least, for me she was. She and dad knew eachother from another world. But that particular world - while fun - was a 13+, and got restrictive in the more... rated R methods of their lifestyle. Hence why they moved to moove. Purrl thought it might be a world I'd like though, and so she and dad logged in to show me around. There.  Yeah. Dad and his mistress are the reason I found There. Purrl was leaving There essentially, so she gave me a lot of her stuff. And I spent less and less time in moove. I fell in love with There.

The main thing I regret is the friendships I lost when leaving moove. Steven did not like There, and was "moove married" to someone, so he would not follow me. And dad had left There because it was not what he was looking for. There was, however, exactly what I was looking for. It was easy to use, and crazy to explore. You weren't confined to only visiting homes, you had an entire world to wander. It was my perfect world. And I soon became a part of two other families - an AFK skilling family, (you could work on various skills to gain points and rewards... and some folks found way to do it while Away From Keyboard... and when they weren't "AFK", they held parties) and a writing family. There is where I met the other Scorgie, and others. Nowadays, the only folks I keep in touch with are a select few from the writing family. They are still a part of my "family", even though There ended last year. One of them, whom I call Nate, and I even "adopted" each other as brother and sister. And to this day, we still call eachother by those titles. Though, sometimes I'm his wife-ster and he's my hus-brother. That was a fun day... the day we got fake There-married to get a girl to stop fawning all over poor Nate.

Anyhoo... I still meet those family members in other worlds - imvu or vside or even minecraft sometimes... and I text my "there best friend" occasionally, and I have a few of their skype names... but it's... just not the same.

Of course... all that could change in a couple months, because THERE IS RETURNING!!!!!

OMG, I could not be MORE excited about this news. And so I shall end here. All happified.

Geeze, such a long post... and all because of James van der Beek.