Saturday, July 23, 2011

Love of a City and a Moment of Awkward - or vice versa

EDIT: I wrote all this on July 8th... and then figured I'd wait until I had pictures put in to share it... but I'd been so busy... so I'm putting it up now, and I'll have to share pictures another time.

Oh hi there blog. How you doing there? What? What's that? I only posted three times in June? Whatevs. I post when I want.  You don't own me. My post count is, including this one, at 46 now, which is more in one year than my average, so shut up.

So I'm back from Michigan. Did I mention I was going to Michigan? Yep. I guesstimated originally that it had been about fourteen years since the last visit TO Michigan, but I was incorrect. I mean, I was right, but my math was off, or my mind was off, or something. I knew that it was the summer after eighth grade. And without thinking I thought "fourteen" and so decided that had been how long it was... but fourteen is how old I was, so it was eleven years ago. Meh, still. Over a decade. OVER A DECADE since we'd seen some of these people. A handful of them visited us around the time I was sixteen I think, (so 9 years ago) but other than that.... that's a long time to not visit. My dad said it was because he remembered the last visit being incredibly expensive. He has now realized that he was wrong. Only about $130 to drive there from here, and that's including the two hours we got lost. Not so bad. He has now decided we'll be visiting more often.

I was... anxious, thinking of this trip. Currently, I'm unemployed, still living at home, never went to college... a bum. And I likes to avoid awkward questions. And people. And sunlight. Eep.

Luckily, there were only three such questions, and they were dropped fairly quickly once answered.

I also learned something new. And I will share it with you. The moment of awkward. It wasn't awkward for anyone other than myself, but that's plenty when considering I'm me.

My mom, when referring to my dad's side of the family, has always said they hate her. They judge her. They look at her funny. It's why she never goes with us during trips to see them, why I wasn't surprised she had a ready excuse this time around. She's always twisting things around to make herself the victim though. It's what she does. Cut to three years back, when she gave me this sob story about how, at one year old, I kept reaching for my dad instead of her, and so she assumed I always hated her, and from then on she'd always kept me at arm's length emotionally. I think she expected me to feel sorry for her, to feel bad for reaching for my father when I was ONE. Are you kidding me? You've been holding that gem against me??? You waited over twenty years to use it? You've got to be joking.

But, back to the story, I assumed all that talk about the family was all just her trying to get me to feel sorry for her. I've now learned that her assumptions and accusations about the family might not be far-fetched... and understandably so.

It appears that, when I was around 1, (This must have been an important time in my life. I alienated my mother AND all this...? Geeze.) my mother took me to the Philippines to visit her family. She then called my father in crisis.

I had been kidnapped.

And the people who took me were holding me for ransom. $10,000. It would cost $10,000 to get me back. My dad was a wreck. He contacted his entire family to gather the money. One of my uncles urged him to get NIS involved, (it's called NCIS now - naval criminal investigative service - my dad was in the navy back then) and so he did. What did they find? My mom. And me. Just chillin'. My mom made up the kidnapping. She wanted money for her family, so she thought she could fake a kidnapping to get her "rich american in-laws" to pony up the dough. Because she was in the Philippines at the time, the US could not do anything legally against her, and because she'd done it against people in the US, the Philippines felt it was also out of their jurisdiction to do anything either. Though I don't know... if you fake a kidnapping, do you normally get in trouble? *shrug*

Just when I thought.... just when I thought I couldn't be surprised by her anymore... what? WHAT? I assure you, I kid you not. My genius mother decided she was going to get $10k from my dad and his family, and her plan was to pretend I was kidnapped. Bra. Vo.

Now, mind you, I've heard a small part of this story before. Only just months ago, my mother brought it up in passing. She'd told me that when I was a baby, she pretended I was kidnapped and called my dad to ask for ransom money to get me back. That was all she'd said, and while I was curious, (How much, mom? Did he find out? WHAT HAPPENED?!) I knew - by the way she'd said it - that if I asked questions or pursued an interest in the story in any way, she would find a way to try and twist it so that she was the victim. And she would again, expect me to feel sorry for her. So I made a non-committal sound and dropped it. I told a couple of my friends just a couple weeks ago, and felt only slightly bad that I didn't have any further details on the subject. (It was either walk away with what I was given, or stay and bang my head against the table while my mom continued her sob story.) Welp, I have more info now, mingo. There you go.

The awkward part of this? I found out about it via my uncle's book of family history. The story is listed there, under my dad. Everyone else has stuff like, where they were born, their children, their spouse, their jobs... but added to my dad's section, is that story. Wtf? Other than that, the only other tacky info in the entire book is under one of my aunt's, about an ex husband, but it's not a specific story, just some general info that's not very polite to be keeping in a family history book. (especially since it's an EX HUSBAND) I mean... really? REALLY? 

When someone asks about you, do you say "Hi! I'm so and so from this place, I work here, I have these kids, and when my oldest was 1, my wife pretended she was kidnapped so she could basically steal $10,000 from my family to give to her family. What about you?"

Or say, you're writing a short bio of yourself, is that something you include? It bothered me that my uncle felt it was necessary to include that story in the book. But what was even worse? How everything fit together once I knew the story.  My mom thinking the family judges her, (HOW COULD THEY NOT????) how sympathetic some of our cousins were to our family "troubles", (that was when I was a child, I don't remember specifics, just the feelings of confusion) how my mom and dad ALWAYS used to argue about asking his family for money - my mom would complain that he was always too chicken to ask, he'd always say to me later that he was ashamed... (um.. HELLO... he basically begged his family for $10k to get me back from kidnappers... oh wait, never mind, I wasn't kidnapped. How would YOU feel about asking for money again? I know he was as blindsided by that lie as his family, but he's still married to the woman...) whenever our cousins would say things like "well, you know how our aunts like to gossip..." I always got the feeling that the "gossip" was directed toward us personally, and would always just agree with them, because I'd rather pretend I knew wtf was going on, than asking them wtf was going on... it felt like something I needed to find out from parents, ya know?

Geeze, I can only imagine the crap that went down when that story was actually taking place. You picked a winner there, dad. And to know that after all these years, he's still married to her? Damn. That's... fun.

But enough of that...

All in all, I had a good time. For the most part. I don't like large crowds, so the party (grandma's 80th) and the day after were a bit uncomfortable, but eh. I survived. And only required a minimal amount of hiding.

It seems the lottery is a big thing there, wherever we went that had a tv was usually tuned in to "keno" or "daily pick three" etc. Buying gas is a gamble too, they raise the prices on the weekends and holidays - but sometimes it would go up at random during the week too. When we arrived on Wednesday, gas was at 3.49. By Thursday it was 3.59, and I think the most I saw it during the weekend was 3.99. Tuesday morning it had gone down to 3.69, and in four hours, it was back up to 3.89.  Crazy.  Price jumps like that don't happen that often over here. Maybe a few cents here and there, and occasionally a big jump.

I found it... a bit sad, I guess, that the local news had a "death notices" segment every morning and every night for "mid-michigan".  Basically, the obituaries. We don't have that here... but that might be because our local news is "Chicago-land" and it's quite possible our death count is a bit higher. 

I fell in love with Bay City. Seriously. It's hard to describe why I loved it, but I did. I loved how within five minutes of my aunt's house, they were able to show us my other aunt's house, my cousin's, where they grew up until they were seven, where they moved after that, my grandma's house growing up, where my grandma and grandpa lived for three months, my great aunt's house... it just went on and on.

It seemed like a pretty large town at times. On the wiki, it says the population in 2010 was 34,932. Which is much less than where I used to live (Aurora) which is almost at 200,000.  But currently, I live in a town not far from Aurora, and that town's count is 30,355... so Bay City and my town are about the same in size. It felt larger sometimes, and smaller at other times.

 I'm prone to getting anxious whilst driving - especially when it's a drive that involves roads I don't frequent, and the tension I suffer whilst on highways? Awful. I get more anxious/tense during higher speeds. (Chicago highways have 55mph speed limits. I know people tend to go at least five over, but REALLY?! THAT'S FAST YO!) I didn't get that at all in Michigan. Even during the two hour drive by myself down to Ann Arbor. Where the speed limit is 70. I was going anywhere from 75 to 90. And I was fine.

I fell in love with the feel of it I think. It felt like home. Which was odd, because I never lived there. And also odd, because I don't really know if I've ever felt "home" where I have lived. (Unless you count an online world, which I won't, for simplicity's sake.)

My cousin - or, I've been informed - my third cousin, has a house there, and is looking for a roommate to help with bills. She offered the second bedroom to me. And I seriously considered it for the entirety of the week. I mean, currently, I don't have many ties here. I have my friends, my family. But really, I can keep up through Facebook and the like, no? I only actually have a handful of friends irl, I'm certain we could keep in touch through text, email and FB. Same goes with family. I even brought the thought up to my dad.

He doesn't want me to. (".....please don't go. Then I'd have no one but your mother to talk to.")  His plea made me rethink. He's always seemed to not really care what me and my brother do, never puts in an opinion on decisions like that. Well, no, it's not that he doesn't really care, but rather, he lets us make our own decisions, and keeps his opinions to himself. So for him to actually say "don't" was odd. And made me realize that I would miss talking to him. My brother's never been one to talk to my dad, whereas me and him, we can talk for hours. It amazed my ex once. J was at his puter, and I was at mine, and my dad knocked on the door at around 1am to talk about his day. We talked for two hours. J couldn't believe it.

And then thinking about missing my dad...  I would be sad to leave my friends too. Sometimes it feels like we don't hang out so often already, and leaving would obviously mean no more hanging out at all. (Well, for me.) I enjoy their company, I have the most fun when we're just sitting around, bored out of our minds, but we're together, so I like it. Seriously. If I were to plan my own birthday celebration, it would be just us, hanging around. Maybe watching a movie or playing a board game I'm terrified of playing. (a few of my friends are competitive) My birthday's in December, so it's unlikely that I'd ask to play at the playground, but it's not like I haven't requested that in the past. (We totally did that for my 16th birthday party. And it was COLD) Not saying I wouldn't make friends in Michigan, but if I were to live with my third cousin, it'd be safe to say that "partying" would be a normality of life. And I'm just not that type of person. Bar hopping and going dancing and junk? Meh.

That being said, I've promised my friends here that we'll go bar hopping sometime.. or something like that. Mainly because I did in Michigan, and they like doing that too, and I don't really but I did in Michigan so why not yo? Or something like that. It makes sense to me. Won't kill me to do that on occasion. Might be tricky to do so without cash though, in Michigan everywhere was like, $1 a beer. Dunno how much that is here. *shrug*

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


On Twitter:
Alright, listen up BRAIN. I have STUFF TO DO. So you'd better cooperate or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip. #empty threat #procrastination

3 hours ago

*clicks Youtube*
*watches a Dan Brown video... hasn't watched a Dan Brown video in 6 months...*

*checks twitter again*

Oh noes... I haven't played Ravenwood Fair today yet! It's not my fault! It wouldn't load earlier! IT HATES ME!!!

*wanders on to Ravenwood Fair*

*wonders why she's still playing Ravenwood Fair*

*wonders why it takes so damned long to DO everything in Ravenwood Fair*

Fuck you, Ravenwood Fair. Fuck you.

*checks skype*

*still working on Ravenwood Fair*

*checks twitter*

*wanders downstairs to watch Raise Your Voice - a movie she saw once in theaters and thought it was gosh awful... still thinks so*

*checks on Ravenwood Fair again*





*checks recordings on DVR*

*twitter - laughs at picture*

*wanders to walmart*


*Drew's Improve-a-Ganza*

Stupid tornado warning. Interrupting mah show. It's not even a warning for this area. Bitch.


*America's Got Talent*

FUCKING TORNADO WARNING. AGAIN!? Oh, this one's at least in THIS area. Fine whatever.

*continues watching America's Got Talent*

I don't feel like hiding in the basement for an hour...

*watches more AGT*


Are you KIDDING ME??? Jeebus.


*does nails*

*now for the voice*

Ya know... I been really happy with who they're choosing here...


*grumbles as she continues watching the voice*

Son of a bitch. Ruined my mojo. I was successful in picking the top peoples until just now. All NBC weather's fault. Dammit. That's stupid. No fair. Dislike.

*continues watching*

*thinking of changing over the clothes... but just did nails... damn...*

*updates vside... haven't done that in MONTHS*

...What was I planning on doing today??

Sunday, June 19, 2011

A dream

So I dreamt I was hanging out with Mingo and our friends T&T at their house. Then I left. I had this big red rusty pickup truck and it wasn't slowing down when I hit the turns. One turn was particularly bad, and I ran off the road. This is where the place changes. It no longer looks like T&T's subdivision, but my mind still registers it as such. There are major hills. And I'm driving through them with wild abandon, because I have no brakes. It doesn't help that it had been raining so much that the grass was incredibly soft and yielded easily. As I slid and drove up and down the hills, I couldn't help but cringe every time I knew my truck was leaving tire tracks along the grass. T&T were going to kill me. Then I slid off a particularly tricky hill, off a cliff, and in to a shallow pond. I managed to drive out of it - because my car still was not braking - and crashed in to a beige, old school looking muscle car. It effectively stopped my truck. The person at the wheel of the muscle car hopped out...

It was Pee-wee Herman.

In his outfit. He giggled his giggle and said something stupid, then hopped back in to his car and backed up away from the collision. The front section of his car was still attached to my truck, so he drove the rest of his car off in to the sunset. And then I heard the cops.

Cut scene. I was now in a house I identified as my ex boyfriend, Jeremiah's. The cops are there, apologizing to me for Pee-wee's behavior. He has been blamed for all of the damages done to the subdivision, because he's drugged out of his mind, and they found open alcohol bottles in the remains of his car. I am off the hook. I feel relief. I go out in to the driveway, and see my truck. At least, that's what my mind registers, except now it's white and not rusty and has words on it that I never thought to read because I see them all the time obviously. Two people are in the truck. Looks like a teenager at the wheel, and some adult in coveralls. Then a man shows up and says "what have ya'll done to my truck?" And the coverall-ed adult turns to the teen and says, "This is your DAD'S truck?!"  And I look down at the unreadable words on the door and think "oh shit, he's right!"

And then I wake up.

Why the hell was Pee-wee Herman in my dream???

Friday, June 17, 2011

Oh hey there.

I went from blogging every day in April, to blogging twelve times in May... and now, over halfway through June... I'm making my first post of the month. Could it be my last post of the month as well? Only time will tell.

Some catching up... I halted the creation of my Humpy Hank cards. But I plan on starting them up again very soon. I have set myself a completion date - July 22nd. That is the day of the Chicago Nerdfighter Gathering event, and I will be bringing some hats to possibly sell during the gathering. I would also like to bring some Humpy Hank cards. Of course, in order to do either one, I must make hats and finish the cards. I'll do it though. I have faith in myself. Maybe. Okay, maybe not. I think it's more that I'm curious to see if I can accomplish what I'm aiming to do. It doesn't help that I don't have a printer either. But that's not an excuse, it's just a statement. I can work around that. And the lack of a paper cutter. Oh man, that's going to suck. But I'll manage.

So now, you might be asking me, "um... okay noxy. If you're aiming to get hats made and Humpy Hank cards finished in a month, why are you here writing? Why are you not off making hats and working on cards?"

Why you all up in my bizniss, unnamed person? We's bout to start a fight if you keep hangin all up on my grill yo.

Okay... no. You have a valid point. I should be making hats. I should be working on cards. But I'd also wanted to try finishing Eat, Pray, Love, which has been on my "to-finish" pile for over a year. I'm about halfway through it, (somewhere in India, for folks who've read it before.) and I took a break to talk to you. Geeze. I can't talk to you anymore? Lay off. Calm yoself. Lemme do what I do. Yo diggity.

Truth be told, I was more interested in Italy than I am in India in the book. And so I might opt to work on some hats after writing this. I really do want to finish reading it though, I have the movie saved on my DVR, and I refuse to watch it until I've finished the book. My friend Mingo has informed me that I'm approaching an imagined deadline, where "I plan on finishing the book someday" has become more of a lie than a truth. Not yet though. I'm still trying dammit.


You know, I had come here with the express purpose of catching up. To tell you about Maureen Johnson and plans to visit Michigan and that NKOTBSB concert I'd gone to and never talked about and other whatnots... and now I'm sitting here, wondering if I feel like going in to all that at the moment. So mayhaps this will just be a short post. I'll end it here. And mayhaps... mayhaps I shall share all that with you another time.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

last day of may

I think... today will be... a post... about the past. My first online interactions. And so forth. I was thinking about that the other day.

My memories were triggered by Ke$ha.


More specifically, this video:

Ke$ha - Blow

This video, should you choose not to watch it, features Ke$ha, James van der Beek, and unicorns.

It's James specifically that triggered the memory.

I've watched this video many a time before, but it was this one particular night that it actually triggered anything.

First off, I was a huge fan of Dawson's Creek. Like, huge. But Dawson himself? Ehhhhh.... was never too big a fan. I liked Pacey best. Of course, in this video? Maybe I'm losing it, but James van der Beek looks real hot here. Even with him shooting unicorns and removing a bra. lol.

Anyhoo, back to Dawson's Creek. It was a prominent show I was hooked on for a good while. I remember before we moved to our first house, (when we were still in apartments) I would be forced to watch the show on a tiny 13 inch black and white tv. One of those tvs that had dials instead of buttons, an antenna, and no remote. The reason was because we only had one other tv in the house, and I was the only one in the family who liked the show.

When we moved, we also found the need to upgrade our tvs. Our old 19inch "family" one moved upstairs in to the loft, where hardly anyone used it, and a bigger tv took its place downstairs. So now I was able to watch the show in color, and slightly bigger. Oh happy day.

Then we got a computer. And internet. One of those free, dial up services. I think it was called.... NetZero?

I fell in love with the internet right away. I was always on it - when no one else needed it. Despite the crappy dial up, the millions of popups, and the slow computer. And one day I was feeling adventurous, and decided to wander a chatroom. The first ones I went to were trivia chatrooms. That's where the admin asks questions and you get points for no reason when you're the first to answer correctly. It was fun, but no one was allowed to talk about anything outside of the answers to the questions, and a "good job"/"thank you" (gj/ty) after every correct answer.

I wanted to talk. I was feeling social. Sadly, my need to feel social could not be fixed by just wandering outside anymore. In our previous apartments, there was always a playground or a courtyard right in the backyard, so folks had no problem letting their kids play outside. Feeling social? Just wander outside, there will be someone.

Not so here. The subdivision boasted of its two playgrounds, (which, by the time the subdivision was finished over ten years later, was more like a dozen) but they were not "right in the backyard". For most of us, it was a couple of blocks away, and parents were not so keen on allowing their kids wander without parental supervision. And parents are often lazy and don't feel like sitting around doing nothing while their kids play and have fun on a playground. That wasn't always the case. It depended on how old the child/young the time of parenting was. If the kid was young, it was possible that so was the "being a parent", and so they had a better shot of getting their mom to take them out. The older the kid gets, the lazier the parent gets in their want to help their kid stay active. Which basically meant that the only kids at the playgrounds were 7 and younger. And I was... 12? That didn't work for me.

And so began my fall in to the anti-sociality of the real world. Here is where possible extroverts - whom (once upon a time) LOVED playing outside and being active and having friends - become introverts.

There were so many chatrooms out there. For all sorts of different interests. Naturally, I yahoo'ed (is that the proper term? I've always used Yahoo, because for me that came first) for a Dawson's Creek chatroom. And I found The Creek. A chatroom where folks talked about their favorite tv show.

I fell in love with the anonymity of the place. In fact, I think my username was "ananymous". (the proper spelling was already taken - a fact that had to be explained often to the jerkfaces who like to point out misspellings) I began to see "regulars" and became one myself. And the most fun I had in the chatroom was when there was dead space. When there were only a few people there, and no one was talking. I would then break in to my imagination, and play.

*takes out her pogo stick*
I'll hit the rafter this time! I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!!
*boing boing boing*

*reaches rafters*
*Sits atop the WORLD*

And it was fun to see folks saying "LOL" or better yet, participating...

*grabs her pogo stick, bounces up to join anan in the rafters*
*pushes anan off rafters*

*pours mountain dew over anan, cementing her to the floor*
Nyah hahahaha!!!!
*grabs pogo stick and joins so and so in the rafters*
So not cool.
*uses the Force to uncement anan from the floor*
*jumps in to creek*
*joins anan*

(The pogo stick and the rafters actually became a normal occurrence in this room, as was the creek of course... can't have "The Creek" without a creek in it.)

That convo is pretty much how it went too, not dipping in to my imagination to make something up this time. I remember it so well and fondly because it was the first time I had a lot of fun in the chatroom. I mean, I enjoyed talking to folks, but I also have an overactive imagination, and this solved it all.

We spent many a day playing water volleyball and using pogo sticks to sit in the rafters. Some folks "brought" instruments and would play along to my rendition of MMMBop.

Mind you, not everyone liked the playing. We didn't force it on anyone, often times a conversation was held at the same time as our imaginings, and those of us who imagined also participated in the convo at hand. Though, when someone didn't like it and was a jerk about it... our imaginings often involved the jerk.

*spikes volleyball, hits jerkface in the head*
*watches as jerkface nearly drowns in the creek they didn't know they were standing in*
*reaches over to the boombox, hits play.*
*Baywatch music comes on*
*saves jerkface*

We could get violent. But we knew our boundaries. The only people we were violent towards were the people flaming us. And really, who needed that sort of negativity around anyhow? We were doing the chatroom a favor - driving them away like that.

My best friend back then, whom I've mentioned before in the 30 day song challenge, and whom I now refer to as "Sarah from Wisconsin", had visited me a few times during my chatroom days. And during that time we shared ananymous.

And then we found love.

His name was Shane. Shane Mc-something or other. (I'm pretty sure I knew the last name until I sat down to write this. lol. McCorgin? Meh.) He was Irish. He was 16, and he knew he was talking to two of us. (He went by Scorgie online... which is actually kinda weird, because years later I met another Irish dude online, who was 16 and had the last name "Scorgie". Ah hahahaaha.) We both said we were 16 as well of course. (Fairly certain we were 13 at the time.) It was a fun time.

I was careless with my identity back then. He had given me his address and I had given him mine. (nowadays, I only share my address with people I trust, and not just give it out willy nilly) He even sent me a ring. I'm pretty sure it was fake. And it was tiny. But it was my first internet gift. lol.

But then... then he disappeared. It was probably because he got tired of Sarah and my fight for his affection. Unless he chose Sarah. That's quite possible. And would explain why he disappeared... to me anyhow.

Anyhoo... I drifted away from The Creek. I began to get attached to the regulars, and saw, to my dismay, that regulars were becoming not. Plus, Shane was gone. And so I left. But I kept with me my memories of those chats.

I suppose those memories are what led me down the path of virtual worlds. Five years later, the summer I'd graduated high school, I was given permission to use my dad's work laptop when he wasn't using it. (It was fifty gazillion times better than our crap puter) And I had decided to look up virtual worlds. Sadly, the most of them required pay. I did try a couple that had free trials. Can't recall names of any of them. And then I found moove. A rather simple, yet complicated virtual world. And you could play (somewhat) free - if you had a subscription you could visit anyone's home, but if you didn't, you'd have to stay at your house and wait for others to visit you.

I met one dude rather quickly, and he was kind enough to help me out. I was having trouble working out things, and had accidentally managed to unclothe myself. He was kind enough to tell me how to get clothes BACK on, and we became friends. His name was Steven. I often wonder what happened to him.

Shortly after meeting him, I met another guy whom might have been having the same issues I had the first day - he showed up at my house unclothed. I'm still friends with him, (we talk on Skype now) and so he holds the record for "my longest internet friend".

And then I met... Louie. He was a Dom back then, (This is the sub/Dom culture I fell in to and mentioned back in April) and I hadn't a clue what that meant. But he was really nice and basically said he'd give his right arm to teach me to be a sub - if I'd like. And so I said sure! Why not? Now, mind you, when the noxy of today comes across something she doesn't know, she'll hit Yahoo that very second. Younger noxy? Not so much. And so I spent an entire night sitting cross-legged (I was supposed to kneel but didn't have the kneel pose yet) and learning rules, all while trying not to laugh. (I got yelled at for laughing. I LOL a lot.) Then Louie had to leave, and Steven logged on shortly after. (Louis was in Arizona, Steven was in England, and I was a night person, so they had different time frames and I happened to intersect them both.) I let Steven know of my adventures in to subs.... and he freaked out. Apparently, he caught on pretty quickly that I had no effing idea what was going on, and immediately explained that "sub" was short for "submissive" and that they were basically slaves, and um... well, I wasn't too fond of that idea. I had basically sold myself to slavery due to ignorance. ROFL.  Luckily, in the sub/Dom culture, it is easy to remedy that situation. While the Dom has a sub, He owns that sub and can do what He wants with them. But it is, in the end, the sub's choice to stay with Him. The sub can asked to be freed at any time, and the Dom must comply. 

So the next night, I apologized to my Dom, and asked for my freedom. He was disappointed I think, but he was still kind and stayed to talk to me, despite my assumption that he would leave as soon as he found out he lost me as a sub. We ended up becoming friends. And he even brought me with on his explorations of other sub/Doms. He began to introduce me as his "vanilla daughter". (vanilla = not a part of the culture) And I accepted that. It was nice to be "adopted" in to a family. Especially one as interesting as that. And I was treated kindly and with respect. He would even seek my approval for his subs, which I thought was interesting. And I became close friends with one in particular, whom he kept on and renamed "Mia". We got along well, my "dad", his Mia, and I. At Christmastime, they both sent me a Christmas card, each with twenty dollar gift cards in it! lol. Man, that rocked.

Sadly, our family didn't last long. Dad was getting interested in the world of Gor, which has a different set of rules than the sub/Dom culture. It's basically a lifestyle that's based on a set of 29 books by some person. I read the first one, though not with "dad's" permission. I got it from Mia, who was unsure of whether or not she was interested in becoming Gorean. In the end, she chose not to, and left our family. Was a sad day.

After that, dad took on a various number of slaves/mistresses. It varied often, he and I being the only stability in the family. The last family I recall had a slave, - her name I cannot remember - a vampiress, (Kaz) and a mistress - Purrl. Purrl was the end of the end. At least, for me she was. She and dad knew eachother from another world. But that particular world - while fun - was a 13+, and got restrictive in the more... rated R methods of their lifestyle. Hence why they moved to moove. Purrl thought it might be a world I'd like though, and so she and dad logged in to show me around. There.  Yeah. Dad and his mistress are the reason I found There. Purrl was leaving There essentially, so she gave me a lot of her stuff. And I spent less and less time in moove. I fell in love with There.

The main thing I regret is the friendships I lost when leaving moove. Steven did not like There, and was "moove married" to someone, so he would not follow me. And dad had left There because it was not what he was looking for. There was, however, exactly what I was looking for. It was easy to use, and crazy to explore. You weren't confined to only visiting homes, you had an entire world to wander. It was my perfect world. And I soon became a part of two other families - an AFK skilling family, (you could work on various skills to gain points and rewards... and some folks found way to do it while Away From Keyboard... and when they weren't "AFK", they held parties) and a writing family. There is where I met the other Scorgie, and others. Nowadays, the only folks I keep in touch with are a select few from the writing family. They are still a part of my "family", even though There ended last year. One of them, whom I call Nate, and I even "adopted" each other as brother and sister. And to this day, we still call eachother by those titles. Though, sometimes I'm his wife-ster and he's my hus-brother. That was a fun day... the day we got fake There-married to get a girl to stop fawning all over poor Nate.

Anyhoo... I still meet those family members in other worlds - imvu or vside or even minecraft sometimes... and I text my "there best friend" occasionally, and I have a few of their skype names... but it's... just not the same.

Of course... all that could change in a couple months, because THERE IS RETURNING!!!!!

OMG, I could not be MORE excited about this news. And so I shall end here. All happified.

Geeze, such a long post... and all because of James van der Beek.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Jung tests and slight excitement

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

The preceding Q and A was taken from a website... I don't have the link. It was given to me by a friend, and I can't find it anymore. I copied that Q&A back on the 6th. Had planned on blogging about the hilarity of that site... but alas, the idea fell by the wayside. Normally, I'll throw said sites and whatnots in to my gmail draft... but apparently, I didn't. *shrug*

Instead, I'll talk about something I did save in the draft, the Jung personality test. (You should totally take it too, I wanna know what you get!)

I am an INFP

Introverted (I) 69.7% Extroverted (E) 30.3%
Intuitive (N) 57.14% Sensing (S) 42.86%
Feeling (F) 58.82% Thinking (T) 41.18%
Perceiving (P) 66.67% Judging (J) 33.33%

And why I wanted to share this with you is because when I clicked "more info" on this Jung type, I found that it was pretty damned spot on.

Your type is: INFP

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

favored careers:

poet, painter, freelance artist, musician, writer, art therapist, teacher (art, music, drama), songwriter, art historian, library assistant, composer, work in the performing arts, art curator, playwrite, bookseller, cartoonist, video editor, photographer, philosopher, record store owner, digital artist, cinematographer, costume designer, film producer, philosophy professor, librarian, music therapist, environmentalist, movie director, activist, bookstore owner, filmmaker

disfavored careers:
business professional, manager, executive, administrator, business owner, supervisor, office manager, business analyst, financial analyst, public relations manager, ceo, executive assistant, judge, event coordinator, lawyer, office worker

I was originally planning on highlighting what was true in that .... but it turns out... for section highlighted in blue? There's really only one thing listed there that might be a bit iffy. The "Prone to lateness/not punctual" bit. When it comes to times to meet or leave or what have you, I'm actually pretty good at being on time. I actually very much prefer being early, and will actually get anxious and uncomfortable when running late.

But otherwise? It's scary how spot on that blue section is. Creepy. It's like it explains me perfectly, in ways I have trouble expressing myself. Ha. Next time someone asks me about myself, I should just copy and paste that.

Anyhoo, short post. It's early in the am and Wednesday is the NKOTBSB concert!!! EEEEEEEEEEE.
Oh the excitement. I must be sure to bring everything. As in, my two cameras and batteries. Ha he haha.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Just another quickish post

Alriiight, so I finished the project that turned me off to knitting for a while. I shall share pictures. But first, birdie pictures.

Do you SEE those poor things in there? SOOOO crowded, and that was BEFORE they got bigger.

This was taken a couple days ago.

I'm happy to say that after days upon days of them looking pitiful and pathetic, all jammed together in that tiny nest, they have now left. I think my brother witnessed the last bird fly straight up, hit the ceiling, then take off.


My brother has decided he's going to move that nest. It's been long enough. Here's a pic of babies I took back in 2009:

Okay... enough birdie pictures. Now I shall share my last two knitted dealies.

Knitted thinger numba 1:
Tis a squirrel.

See its squirrellyness?

Yep. I wanted to make a knitted ball. And then figured if I put a squirrelly tail on it, that would make it a squirrel. I added ears too. Hee. (Etsy listing)

And then knitted thinger number 2. The thing that pissed me off.
Tada. It is.. a tardis.

Can you see the need for the yellow felt? I had tried to use yarn, but it just didn't look as nice.

 Honestly, now that it's done, I'm not as hateful towards it as I was during my last post. But I do still hate it. And I do NOT want to knit anything more right now. I'm also a little iffy about it. I don't watch Doctor Who. I used pictures I found online as references. And so I feel.... like I didn't do it right. *shrug* (Etsy listing)

So now... now the plan is to A) clean my room. And B) work on those Humpy Hank cards.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

a title is useful

Getting antsy... feeling trapped. I do this to myself all the frickin' time. Time to go to sleep and start a new in the morning. Maybe. Ugh. And now I'm talkin' all cryptic. Okay. Here goes. Another problem I was facing with the whole "try and sell stuff" thing? I can't stay on one thing for too long. It always fades. No matter what "it" is. An obsession, a hobby, a decision, a job... always. Which is sort of why I'm so surprised I'm still a BenPal. And why I was surprised I made it through BEDA.

Part of me was afraid to try because I know that, given enough time, and I'll trap myself. I'll get incredibly bored with whatever I'm doing, but I won't want to stop doing it until it's finished. Then there's usually a setback - something that's needed at the store or something... and if I'm really lucky.... and I am really lucky... the store it's needed from is already closed for the night. And that will get me anxious and impatient. And by the time I've finished with the whatever, I'm done. I'm sick of whatever it is. And I stop.

I'm in the middle of making a small stuffed item. And plan A was unsuccessful. Plan B requires felt from a store - and Walmart stopped fucking selling felt. Even if they still did sell felt, they never did sell yellow - which is of course one of the colors I need. Which means I must go to a craft store. And so I must wait until the morning. Or something like that. And then I can get the felt and finish this thing. And then I'll list it and it will probably never get sold because it looks gosh awful already.... ugh. Just... ugh.

When I finish this stupid knitted thing, I'm stopping with the knitting for now. I have enough hats for sale at the moment. I'm actually going to try making those Humpy Hank cards. Don't know how long it will take to work those out, but I imagine it'll be a while. The good thing about them is that there's enough going on that I'll stay interested. I don't know if anyone reads my blog anymore... but if you're reading this, do you think $10 is too much for a humpy hank card? Too expensive maybe? Bear in mind that the card can basically be used as a picture frame. Ah whatever, I'm fairly certain that's the price I'm selling them at. I'll still be cutting it all up and putting it all together by hand dammit.

Updates on other stuff... the duck is gone. I dunno if the eggs hatched or if they were attacked by a critter. Because I am a pessimist, most of me thinks the latter. They all died. Dead. D-E-D.  But then... a small part of me, the part that still claims it's a realist, is telling me that it is quite possible that they hatched and wandered away. From what I'd read, the ducklings would spend time eating their shells, and then momma would lead them to water. We hadn't put anything out yet because we assumed we would see the ducklings first. The info I'd found advised us to leave momma alone, trust her, then put some water out once the eggs hatched. But if the eggs hatched without us noticing, then it's possible momma took her duckies away for water. Mainly, that small part of me is giving me this reasoning because I didn't find any remnants near the nest. Just momma duck's feathers. No shell pieces, no blood... nothing. So maybe the duckies are still alive. And happy. *shrug*

In other news, there's a bird's nest above the outdoor lamp by our front door. And for the last few years, there's always been a bird to lay eggs in it. This year is no different. It's been a couple years since I'd bothered to take a picture though. I have a picture now, but I don't have my camera near, so I'll have to show ya later, because the pic I have shows the baby birds as a bit bigger than the babies in the pic I took a couple years ago.

All my favorite shows are ending. So sad. Castle's already ended and boy oh boy, did it end well. Or not well... I mean... it was a well done episode. And then the end of NCIS and NCIS LA was Tuesday night. The end of Modern Family and Cougar Town were today, and Bones ends tomorrow. Geeze. Dancing with the Stars ends next week. The Voice is still running though, so meh. And then there's this summer's seasons. Of course, I was only looking forward to two shows this summer - Psych and Covert Affairs.  Covert Affairs starts up next month, but not Psych. Noooooo, they moved Psych to the fall. So Covert Affairs is it. I suppose that's a good thing, this summer I won't be watching so many shows. I'll probably watch America's Got Talent though. Ha.

I'm learning how to use GIMP. Gimp is a more advanced photo editing program that's free. I've had it on my computer for about four years. I've opened it up a couple times, but was so confused I gave up on it. The first time I successfully did something in GIMP? The day I made the Humpy Hank card animation. LOL. I don't have an animated gif maker anymore, so I wandered online to find another method, and I found Gimp instructions. Had Gimp for four years, and only just successfully used it this month.

So now I've decided to try actually learning how to use GIMP. Since I first started trying to draw pictures, (i.e. that balloon animal picture I shared last time) I've used two programs simultaneously - saving at intervals, forever copying and pasting, switching back and forth between the two. Paint and a program called iPhoto Plus - a program that's copyright is 1993, and is slowly dying on me. (More and more things that were possible in the program once are no longer working properly.) Not sure why it's dying, but eh. And instead of panicking, I've been working around its faults. Because not everything in Paint can be done in iPhoto Plus, and vice versa.  If I can learn GIMP, it's quite possible I won't need to use either anymore.

And then I'm going to make an attempt at tshirt graphics.

Okay. I'm done ranting and rambling and whatnot. I'm going to sleep. And then tomorrow I will attempt to finish making that one stupid thing, and then do my BenPals video, and then work on the Humpy Hank card. Yay to-do lists.

Monday, May 16, 2011

my fixation with balloon animals

I cannot explain it. And I only just realized a couple days ago. So let's go back to the source shall we?

When I was about 10 years old, I got my first balloon animal. It was at a family picnic my dad's work had set up. I stared with envy at the kids receiving their own animals. I assumed the terrifying clown that was making them was charging. He wasn't. I found that out when I managed to muddle up the courage to meekly ask for a dog. The terrifying clown smiled at me (did I mention I'm scared of clowns??) and made me one. I smiled back - at least I tried to smile, not sure I successful, because APPARENTLY when I think I'm smiling, I'm not - and ran off with my new puppy. I was ecstatic. I had a balloon that was ten times better than one of those normal shaped, floaty balloons. Mine was a PUPPY. Woof.

It was a sad day when my puppy died. I don't remember if I ever named it, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did. I never forgot my puppy. It was light blue.

Two years later, we had moved. My dad switched jobs, and there was no longer a family picnic. I no longer had an opportunity to get another balloon puppy. My first puppy never left my mind though, and so I decided to take matters in to my own hands and make my own. While shopping at Kmart, my mom allowed me to pick one inexpensive thing to purchase. I found a bag of twisty balloons. (Kmart, being the asshole that it is, no longer sells twisty balloons. Fuck you Kmart.)

It took a while, but eventually, I managed to blow up a balloon. I don't know if you've ever tried to blow a twisty balloon up before, but seriously - those terrifying clowns make it look way too easy. I still think back to that first successful attempt in amazement that I didn't pass out. I do remember it hurt my cheeks though.

Anyhoo, the first thing I did with my long, blown up balloon? Made a dog of course. Making a dog was simple. I still vividly remembered seeing how the scary clown did it, (I was purposely avoiding staring at his face - lucky for me staring at my puppy being made wasn't an unreasonable reason to not look)  so it was easy. The only reason it took longer is because (add to the list of things that terrify me...) I'm terrified of loud noises and, knowing a failed attempt could result in a loud pop, I was extra careful twisting the balloon.

My first handmade twisty balloon puppy was light blue. On purpose. I made myself a puppy! And then I made another one... and another one.... it's crazy really... most of that bag of balloons consisted of puppies. I did make two giraffes... but other than that... I was quite happy making puppies. More and more.

Again, it was sad when those puppies left me. I have no sense of portion control, so it didn't occur to me to save some balloons. Maybe, you know, make only one puppy at a time? Nope, 20 puppies for me. And 2 giraffes. Hooray.

It was years before I found twisty balloons again. Mainly because I wasn't actively looking for them. When I'd pass where they were supposed to be in a store, I'd look, but that's about it. When I was about 20, we moved again. And at a dollar store, I found some twisty balloons. TWISTY BALLOONS! Naturally, I had to get them.

These balloons were of lesser quality than the last ones, which wasn't surprising as the whole package was only a dollar. But eventually I managed to make myself another puppy. Oh happy day! was light blue. And yeah, that's a picture of it. Not entirely sure why it's so fuzzy. It's made a bit differently than my previous puppies. That's because I chose to try it the way the back of the balloon bag suggested.

About a year later, I started attempting to draw on the computer. What was the first thing I tried drawing?

Naturally, I used the picture as a ref. The number on it was an identifier for a site I used to play on.

And two years later.... in '09, I opened my etsy shop. I listed over a dozen different clay items for sale... and four of those items... were clay "balloon" animals.

The smaller ones were a little over two inches long.

And the larger ones were just over three inches long.

Notice they are not light blue. It was because I had meant to sell them. Had I painted them light blue, I probably would not have tried to sell them. lol. As it were, they didn't sell, and I chose not to relist them. I'm not even sure where they are now... hmmm....

But that brings me to now. I mentioned a few days ago that I was going to attempt to make knitted stuffed animals...
Tada. Yes, it's standing. I was delighted when I managed to get it to stand on its own. I thought I'd have to lean it against the back.

My brother looks so happy to take this picture for me. (I wanted a person holding the puppy so as to get a better idea of scale for my etsy listing.)

Notice again, it is not light blue. That is because I listed it on etsy. It's more expensive than my hats because geeze, it took a while to knit. It was knitted on the same loom I made the small Jayne keychains. But instead of stopping at three inches like I did for the main part of the hat, I made it fifty inches. Yeah, that damned dog is theoretically fifty inches long if it was uncoiled. It cannot be uncoiled though. In order for it to be successfully shaped, I had to tie the joints. And then needle felted it a bit to help it be less floppy. (needle felting = stabbed with a special needle a billion times) And of course it's stuffed. I might try making a smaller version, a bit more like the light blue one I made a couple years ago and drew on the puter. But if I decide to try it, that won't be for a while I thinks.

I also might eventually try making myself one. I'll need some light blue yarn though.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Dresses and the sort

This will likely be more of a photo post than a writing post. Ha.
Firstly, we shall talk about my very first teefury shirt. Ha. I've known about teefury, but kept forgetting to check the site everyday. Then someone on deviantart posted a design for a Browncoat shirt which I thought was neat... so I wandered to the teefury site the friday before the Browncoat shirt to show my dad the site... and hint that we should get some Browncoat shirts... and they just happened to have an AWESOME Star Trek shirt available, so he ordered a couple of those for us. And then the Browncoat shirts once they were available, and then he let his boss on to the awesomeness that is teefury. (apparently his boss is a fan of Office Space)
There's my dad. I was setting up my tripod and he was "practice posing" whilst I was getting it ready. I had to take this picture. lol.

There we are. Ha he haha. I actually wanted the men's cut, I'm more comfortable in those, but alas, me dad ordered a women's, so eh. It works. We've gotten our Browncoats shirts too, but I haven't taken a picture of that one yet.

Moving on, I was at the mall not too long ago with my buddy Mingo and I tried on a couple of dresses. This one....
Looks a lot better in that above shot than the below one.

Can you SEE that?? The outline for the boobage?? It's awful. AWFUL.

There's another picture. I dun have a good one of that one far away though.

And moving on again.... went dress shopping with Nuba. Yayness!

Dress numba 3:
It's a convertible dress.
She liked the idea of it, but then, this one looked more like a "prom dress" to her, and she decided against a convertible dress in the end.

Dress number 4:

I took lots of pictures of that dress because I liked it a lot, probably my second fave of all the ones she tried. I like it better without the sleeves though. But this one's a no. The only thing she liked about the dress was the bottom. Which was very pretty. But the top was too busy for her tastes, and the business/material actually dug in to her and hurt. So yeah, that's a hell no. Last thing she needs is to be uncomfortable in her wedding dress.

Dress number 2:

She didn't much like this dress, I think it was her least favorite. Of the four, it was probably third on my list - I didn't like the convertible dress. Can't pinpoint why I don't like this dress though. When I was in high school, I would have loved this dress. It was actually similar to a prom dress I wanted but ended up not being able to get because it was gone by the time I could get it. Maybe that's it. It reminds me too much of a prom dress I wanted. Or maybe my tastes have just changed. Or maybe it's just not right for the Nuba. Hee.

And that's all I have to show you! If you're counting, you know that there's one missing. I showed you 3, 4, and 2. (it was random because that's how they uploaded and I didn't feel like messing with it.) I can't show you 1. Because... it was everyone's favorite, and Nuba has until the end of this month to decide on whether or not she wants that one.
I don't think my brother even knows I have a blog, but I'd rather not risk it. And if it's the dress she decides on, I don't want to be the reason he sees it before the wedding. Ha. But you know... by the end of this month, if Nuba ends up not getting the dress, I'll share it then. Hee.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Ducks and Pitbull

Oh hey, Blogger's working. Geeze, way to find a new way to get on my nerves, Blogger. #shakesfist

So, this past Sunday was Pitbull's last day with us. It was... sad. I tried so hard not to get attached to him, but he's just so damned cute. Worse yet, I thought I'd be able to say goodbye to him and go to sleep so when I woke up, he'd be gone, but no dice. I was the one who had to give him away. He seemed happy enough, all ready to go on a car ride with a couple of strangers. I gave him away, said goodbye, wandered up to my room, and cried myself to sleep.

Another sad thing is that Nuba hasn't been able to get in touch with his new owner since I'd given him to her. Nuba's left messages, but hasn't gotten any replies. I'm afraid it's because he's such a terrible dog that the new owner is having trouble with him and doesn't want to say anything. But then, I'm a pessimist who likes to pretend she's a realist.

I had grabbed my camera early that morning to take some last pictures of him.

I'm happy he's gone. Really I am. He was just so stupid, he wouldn't learn anything. He'd always destroy something or use the floor as a bathroom. Piddle papers were useless with him as he'd tear them to shreds. And taking him out on a leash results in twenty minutes of you standing there while he's flipped over on his back, trying to chew on said leash. Every time you'd walk in to the kitchen you'd have to clean up his bathroom break. And he almost chewed through a bar on one of our chairs. Geeze.

Yeah, you see the bar that's going across his chest there? And the other bar that's connected to the other leg on the right? You can see the beginnings of the spot he destroyed and almost chewed through.

At the same time... he was real cute. And as I've established, though maybe not on the blog before, looks apparently go a long way with me. Ha. I'll be watching some movie about some gosh awful character, but all I'll really notice is how cute the actor is. Pitbull was too damned cute.

Another upside to him being gone? Ducks.

A few weeks ago... a couple friends and I went to play on the playground near my house. We noticed three ducks - two boys and one girl. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to catch a duck, we left them alone.

Days after that first encounter, I noticed all three of them in my backyard. MY backyard! I'm fairly certain, at that time, that our house was the only one in the vicinity with a damned dog we'd let out. And so the ducks choose our backyard to hang in??? I saw them, more than once, flying away at top speed due to Pitbull. Dumb ducks.

And then Sunday came. I was talking to my mom in the kitchen, and she let Pitbull out and left the door open for some air. I hear a rush of feathers taking off, and it sounded very close. So I went to investigate. Naturally, I assumed it was a duck, and I wasn't surprised to see the duck was not there. But then I noticed Pitbull hovering awfully close to a spot he'd been hanging around for days, and I got curious. When I realized what that spot was, I picked Pitbull up, and took him inside. He didn't like that, he started squirming and attacked me. See the bumps on my hand from the attack? ha.

But I couldn't let him go, there were eggs.

I counted ten. Not including one I had originally assumed Pitbull removed from the nest.

From the research I did immediately upon finding out there were eggs, this lone egg will die. I can't put it back in the nest, else the duck might decide the eggs were tampered with and abandon them all, leaving them all to die.

Really? REALLY?!?? You get chased out of our yard MULTIPLE TIMES and so you decide that our yard is the prime place for a nest?! Dumbass duck. Why are all these animals so stupid?? 

The other day, my mom and Nuba had been looking outside to check on the nest, and determined it was "gone". All they could see were feathers. Which, scared me, because I was guesstimating that the eggs wouldn't be hatching for at least another 2-3 weeks. But I looked out and the duck was still there...
so I'm assuming she's covered the eggs with feathers or something. I explained to my mum and Nuba that the momma duck leaves for a bit every day for food and water.

Another frightening thought: according to research, a duck takes 1-2 days to lay an egg. There were at least eleven eggs. (including the lone one) So this duck had been there for 11-22 days?! This NEST had been there for 11-22 days?! And NO ONE NOTICED IT?! Just Pitbull. Seriously? I couldn't find an average amount of eggs a duck lays, so I don't know if the eggs I counted are all that she's laid or if she's made more since. I do not know if the lone egg was the only lone egg around, but I think it was. However, I no longer think it was Pitbull who moved it.

Yesterday, I opened the screen to see if the duck was still there, (actually, I was hoping it had gone off for food, so that I could check to see if I could see any eggs in the nest) and I saw another lone egg, just a couple feet from the first lone egg. So... now I'm wondering if the duck is the one who's moving her eggs. And if so, how's she choosing the ones to go? I can't imagine it's something else that's moving the eggs.


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

busy bee

So last we talked, I mentioned being in the middle of finishing a Jayne hat to list on etsy.

I finished that one Friday.

Then, over the weekend, I made three more.
The group of two are pictured as such because a lovely person in the UK ordered two.

And am now in the middle of another.

I also made some mini hats, sort of a keychain/ornament size.

I made them in between the main hat making, as a break from the monotony. Heh. I actually made myself one of these guys a few days ago...

It's hugemongous as a keychain, I know, but eh, I like it. Teehee.

And that's been my weekend. lol. Making hats. Yep. Once I'm finished with this one, I'm taking a break from the Jayne hats, but not from hats altogether.

The plan is to try making a couple of other different hats too. Maybe just one or two though.

I'd also like to try making some knitted stuffed animals.

And some normal stuffed animals. There's been an idea stuck in my head revolving around normal stuffed animals that I'm aching to try. But first I have to find out if I can even make stuffed animals. Ha.

I'm also looking in to recreating the Humpy Hank card. But I'm not entirely sure it would be worth it. I have to calculate the supplies it would take to make it... then crunch some numbers to see if it's even worth it..... if I do recreate it, it might look loads better than what I sent Hank... because now I'm thinking in multiples instead of the just one. I'm thinking of efficient ways to make them... which will make me want to send him another one... lol...

But I'm not... entirely sure... if I want to try mass producing humpy cards.... I mean.. I really don't know if there'd be enough interest in them for me to profit from them... and really don't know how to ask...

Yeah... I might be in over my head. We'll have to see about that...

Basically, the message I'm trying to get through with this post is...

I've been... hesitant... to pursue etsy as a project. Friends and family have all suggested (for years) that I start selling the stuff I make. And I've considered trying in the past. I even posted some things a couple years ago... but was just too... scared... to continue. Been using the "I keep meaning to.. but I forget." excuse.  And Hank's apparently managed to give me the push I apparently needed to actually try. So uh... yay.

Back to that Jayne hat.

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