How to Fail, Fail, and Fail Again

How to Fail, Fail, and Fail Again

a frustration by noxy

Step 1: Decide to make lemon meringue cookies

Step 2: Naively take a happy, unsuspecting pic of your ingredients.

Step 3: Follow step 1 in the directions

Step 4: Follow step 2, and "mix your egg whites on high for ten minutes until meringue is glossy and forms stiff peaks."

Step 5: Continue to mix for 10 more minutes because the meringue is not forming stiff peaks.

Step 6: Listen to the idiocy of your brain when it says "you just need another egg white!" and add another egg white.

Step 7: Mix for 10 more minutes without success.

Step 8: Give up. Drop mixture in to cake pan and bake for two hours.

Step 9: Try again.

Step 10: Repeat steps 3-5.

Step 11: Repeat step 8.

Step 12: Sit in frustration.

Step 13: Don't cry.

Step 14: Do not cry.

Step 15: Go insane.

Step 16: Try again.

Step 17: Wing it, ignore instructions.

Step 18: Add ingredients randomly.

Step 19: Fight the urge to cry when you notice the meringue has somehow formed stiff(ish) peaks.

Step 20: Go back to the recipe, follow step 4, and "Place meringue in a pastry bag (or plastic sandwich baggie with a corner cut off) and pipe in very small dots onto a baking sheet."

Step 21: Bake for 2 hours or so.

Step 22: Write this blog while waiting for "cookies" to bake.